Comments on: What’s Your Opinion Of This Email Subject Line… AKA a Headline.

By: Alan Waelbroeck

Alan Waelbroeck — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 05:42:28 +0000

Seems to me that the relevant point is that the headline is somewhat stale. Needs to be spicier (thought nuts in a vice is not necessarily required). How about something like “7 serious pains you’ll wish you hadn’t ignored”.
Not perfect, but a push in the right direction. Got to find some way to make it personal to whoever the target audience is. If you could add something to show why we should care, it’ll improve it even more, (like the bathroom addition JPM put in.)

They say Spam is only Spam if you don’t want what they are selling. Any more, Spam tells me I shouldn’t trust them. Even if I want their product, I’d more likely go to their competition.

Al in Indy

By: John A. Manley

John A. Manley — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 21:46:07 +0000

I think it could use the reason why factor weaved in.

It’s just telling me I shouldn’t ignore these pains.

Tell me I shouldn’t ignore them, and statistics say it’s fare more likely I’ll respond.

Personally, you give me a reason, and I’m more ready to listen.

“7 Pains You Must Shouldn’t Ignore If You Don’t Want To Spend Your Retirement Running to the Toilet”

Notice I took out “Serious?” I think the running to the toilet line says it all.

For those who didn’t get it, I was alluding to prostrate problems.

John

http://www.realitycopywriting.com/free_audio_interviews

By: Ethan Kap

Ethan Kap — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 05:18:30 +0000

Shaune what a great post!

It really got me thinking about headlines and the importance of doing your research before you just copy and paste a template headline from the 100 top headlines.

They are tested and proven…guaranteed to work right?

I concur on what has been said overall. The headline is SPAM-like and needs to be more specific.

Your idea of doing specific and strategic interviews is right on the money.
When your target audience has actually told you what pians or problems they have, it is not hard to come up with a more compelling headline.

Ethan Kap

By: Brett Kitchen

Brett Kitchen — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 04:02:54 +0000

I’m not going to be as deep and philosphical as the rest of you.

My basic feeling is It’s weak, It needs more specificity, you’ve talked about specific to the pain, but what about to the audience. If you know who the audience is, it could be “7serious upper back pains runners shouldn’t ignore.”

If I was a runner, with upper back pain this would obviously grab my attention

By: J.S. William

J.S. William — Sun, 22 Oct 2006 13:10:33 +0000

I agree that had I received this e-mail, I would have thought it to be nothing more than spam, and probably would have deleted it. Even though it was targeted to health conscious people, such a vague title could be interpreted to more than just health risks, as has been pointed out in previous comments.
I do like the urgency that it evokes, but the headline could have been more specific. Even putting the word “Health” in the sentence would have hit the target audience and would have probably made me at least look at it had I actually received the e-mail.
To me, it is amazing how one word, whether added or deleted, can make the difference when trying to connect to your target consumer.